5 DBT Skills You Can Use in the Next 10 Minutes

DBT — Dialectical Behavior Therapy — is essentially a toolkit for the moments when the feeling is bigger than your capacity to handle it. Here are five skills you can use right now. None of these fix the underlying thing. They get you through the next ten minutes without adding a new problem.

If you're thinking about hurting yourself, skip the list. Call or text 988 now.

1. Cold water (the TIPP "T")

Splash cold water on your face, or hold an ice cube, or take a cold shower. Cold on the face near the eyes triggers the dive reflex, which slows your heart rate within seconds. It is the fastest physiological off-ramp from panic that exists.

2. Paced breathing

Make your exhale longer than your inhale. In for 4, out for 6, for about two minutes. The long exhale is the part that tells your nervous system the threat has passed.

3. STOP

When you're about to do the thing you'll regret:

• Stop. Don't move.
• Take a step back. Literally, physically.
• Observe. What's happening in your body, the room, the situation?
• Proceed mindfully. What does the version of you that you respect do next?

4. Opposite action

Every emotion comes with an urge. Fear says avoid. Shame says hide. Anger says attack. When the emotion doesn't fit the facts, or acting on it makes things worse, do the opposite of the urge, fully. Afraid of the phone call? Make it. Ashamed and want to isolate? Text one person.

5. Radical acceptance

Not approval. Not "it's fine." Just: this is what's actually happening, and fighting the reality of it is adding a second layer of pain. Say it plainly — "I don't like this and it is what's true right now" — and notice your shoulders drop half an inch.

The catch

Skills work best when you've practiced them before the crisis, and when someone helps you figure out which ones fit your patterns. That's the actual work of DBT. If you want help building that toolkit, book a consult.